Punk Smurf pens a bilingual blog

I read this on AfterEllen.com:

I read the breaking news that Mariska Hargitay would be MIA from Law and Order: SVU due to her recent lung-problem relapse. Uh… What?

The story is on EW’s Ausiello Files and reading it I realized she’ll only miss a couple of weeks of work, which basically translates to just one episode. Seriously. The Emmy-winning actress just underwent a second surgery relating to the collapsed lung she suffered in January, and will only be missing from one episode, yet it’s basically the most horrible, shocking news in television.

I sort of feel bad for Ice-T. It seems like he misses at least every other episode, and yet there are never any news reports about his absence. While there’s clearly no competing with Mariska, it’ll actually be his chance to shine in her missed episode, “Baggage,” as he’s supposed to “step in for her.” We’ll see about that. However, Stephanie March will be there as well, as that will coincide with Alex Cabot’s six-episode return (which starts tonight, by the way).She’ll do…

As read on AfterEllen.com:

A few weeks ago in an Ask AfterEllen.com column, I answered a reader’s question about whether there was any possibility of a romance between Mariska Hargitay’s character Olivia Benson and Stephanie March’s character ADA Alexandra Cabot on Law & Order: SVU, now that March is reprising her role for six episodes on the hit NBC crime drama beginning March 10.

My answer at the time? No. (OK, I suppose nothing can ever be completely ruled out, but in my Professional Lesbian opinion, that has about as much chance of happening as Max getting a decent storyline on The L Word.)

Now Stephanie March is trying to make me look bad.

In a press call today attended by one of our freelance reporters, Jim Halterman (who relayed the info to me), Stephanie answered similar questions — and was much more encouraging about the possibility of an Alex/Olivia relationship than I was.

First, when asked whether Alex Cabot is returning in a relationship or not, she said, “She’s on the prowl. She’s not tied to too many people.”

On whether she’s going to be prowling strictly for men, March replied, “I think we haven’t determined all of it yet. I think some of it’s still a mystery.”

Finally, when asked whether Alex and Olivia are in love and just not realizing it yet, March answered, “I’m not saying we’re not…I’m not saying we’re not in love.”

What’s that noise, you ask? It’s the sound of a million Alex/Olivia shippers having a heart attack at the same time.

Executive Producer Neal Baer acknowledged on the call that he and the writers are very aware of the lesbian following for March and Hargitay, and March added that the Alex/Olivia shipping doesn’t bother her in the least. “I would make the vote on Prop 8 that would make your readers happy,” she said. 

Mariska Hargitay and Stephanie March at a fundraiser in May 2008

To be clear, I still don’t think there’s any real chance the writers are going to develop a romantic relationship between Olivia and Alex.

But even a few years ago, questions about a romantic development between two ostensibly straight characters on a popular mainstream TV show wouldn’t have even been asked in a mainstream press conference, let alone answered in a way that seeks to encourage viewers to read between the lines.

So it feels like a little bit of progress off-screen, if not on-screen.

Then this article reveals how Cabot’s return the SVU will give fans an explanation of what exactly happened to her character.

Last night’s Law & Order: SVU was originally supposed to feature the return of Stephanie March’s ADA Alex Cabot for a six-episode stint.

Uh-huh.

But instead of seeing Stephanie, we were treated to an episode involving transgender issues (remember “Fallacy”?) and even featured a couple of real-life lesbians with cameos. Both Daniela Sea and Leah Delaria appeared in the episode

The plot involved a 13-year-old girl, Hailey, whose father couldn’t accept that she isn’t his son Henry anymore and is found beaten nearly to death.

Daniela plays a leader of a trans group that steals hormones from pharmaceutical companies and gives them to transitioning members of the community who could not ordinarily afford them.

I also wish the assailant of the girl’s father didn’t turn out to be the secretly transgender guidance counselor. Even though she came off entirely emphatically, it’s still another name to add to the seemingly never-ending master list of LGBT homicidal characters. But, overall the episode seemed to portray the issue with a great deal of tact and understanding.

Ok, now back to Stephanie March.

In honor of Stephanie March’s upcoming return to “Law & Order: SVU” as ADA Alex Cabot, I give you a brawl for her affections between Mariska Hargitay and Tina Fey. Both women launched a thousands ’ships with their gay subtext (or maintext in the case of “30 Rock”) involving Stephanie. And both women look awfully pretty standing next to her. So, who takes it, ladies and discerning gentlemen?

Olivia Benson & Alex Cabot

Liz Lemon & Gretchen Thomas

So, who should Stephanie end up with? Hmmm…

I first took notice of Mariska Hargitay in a TV series called “Tequila and Bonetti”, in which she had a part as Officer Angela Garcia (she had beautiful hair, and she often wore a uniform). Several years later I started watching Law & Order: SVU (thanks to Jill Hennessy I was already a fan of Law & Order). I admit that the fact that Mariska played the part of Detective Olivia Benson contributed
Mariska has played Det. Olivia Benson for 10 seasons on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Alongside Christopher Meloni as Det. Elliot Stabler, she has helped make the spin-off the most popular series in the Law & Order franchise. They’ve also turned Benson and Stabler into one of TV’s best on-screen partnerships.

Mariska told Ladies Home Journal she would consider leaving the hit show for her family.

I was sad to see ADA Alex Cabot (Stephanie March) leave the show - did she have to be shot? Wait, I’m still wondering why Benson suddenly started to call Cabot “sweetie”? Oh, the sub text! But if Mariska is going to hang up her badge I might stop watching SVU altogether. I’m sure I’m not the only one with these sentiments. I mean, try to imagine Stabler without Benson… I rest my case.